At Captain MacDouger’s Elementary School garage, seven yellow school buses sat next to each other preparing for their day ahead.

"Man, I’m exhausted," said a school bus.

"That’s not funny and has never been funny," said another bus.

The bus said the joke every day, until the others had enough and drained his gas tank.

A turtle challenged a marlin to race across the bay. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" asked the marlin.

"I've been training all year. I've wanted this my entire life," said the turtle.

He lost. It wasn't even close. And, everyone was thrilled. That turtle was the most annoying, obnoxious jackass ever known.

"A tour-de-force. A more suspenseful treasure hunt and thrilling adventure than my locating the torrent online."

"This is an exquisite rare gem from a gilded author who spent the last 15 years working on this gift for society. In my humble opinion, it is worth at least 3 postage stamps."

"Captures the authentic dialogue of people in crisis like Twitter during the People’s Choice Awards."

"Inventive and risky. The story delves between good and evil rapidly, as did my computer which cannot handle the embedded "pop-up book" features."

"A beautifully matter-of-fact novella. So magical. So inspirational. This author has the gift of writing hefty works with the simplest of language. It was so good I printed it out."

"Multi-layered, finely crafted, and rich. More encompassing, expressive, and fictional than a Monday morning Facebook update."

"Brilliantly written. Bought this eBook used. As good as new."

"Vivid, spare, suspenseful, and quite terrifying. The breathtaking pace matched my own adrenaline when I thought I downloaded a Trojan horse."

"A hypnotic painting of a graceful society in a dreadful world. Remarkably haunting with regrets. An eBook I accidentally purchased due to fat fingers."

"My favorite download since Napster, and just as motivating."

"A visionary expression of immediate speech and subtle feeling, like my eyes screaming when I stopped staring into the screen."

"Controversial and terse, recommended for those that like "fact-checking" beyond Wikipedia."

"A wonderful masterpiece that no one’s going to be able to finish. Best in library for social status. Navigate to page 347 and everyone will think you’re almost a third the way through."

"Sharp. Edgy. Bright. Not recommended if prone to seizures."

"Riveting and emotional. I clicked through each page as fast as I could, crying several times, the last with blisters on my fingers."